Knapp's Relational Model

     Knapp's Relational Model is a portrayal of relationship development broken into two categories - the building up and the breaking down. Each side of the coin contains 5 unique stages, connected in the middle by "relationship maintenance" for a total of 11 "stairsteps" that show both the "coming together" and the "growing apart" of personal connections, may they be with friends, family, or significant others. 

The image above depicts the steps of Knapp's model. Whether the relationship you're in never deteriorated post-bonding-stage, hopped from differentiating, to bonding, back to differentiating again, or simply went straight from initiating to terminating, any connection you've ever made with another person has probably hit at least one, if not multiple, of these levels. 

I personally have experienced basically all of these stages at one point in life or another, and have felt what it's like for a relationship to bounce back and forth between them. The best example I can think of is between me and my childhood best friend.

We first met in our preschool class at the ripe age of four. She (a very outgoing, much chattier child) ran up and introduced herself to me (a very shy, extremely quiet counterpart). ~ Initiating!

As is typical for most filter-less children, she took my hand and brought me to go play with her (against 4-year-old-me's will). ~ Experimentation!

It didn't take me too long to decide that she actually was quite entertaining, and by the second week of school I was hanging out with her because I wanted to, not just because I had no choice in the matter. ~ Intensifying!

Eventually, our moms exchanged phone numbers (or facebooks...whatever it was that moms did in the early 2000's... hello online communication), and we were spending every weekend at each other's houses and having sleepovers. ~ Integration!

Unfortunately, preschool couldn't last forever. But we remained friends throughout elementary school, despite living in different school districts, and we kept in touch by emailing each other back and forth (more online communication!). ~ Bonding!

Proof of said emailing... circa 5th grade

We are still friends today, and even though we attend different universities and only really get to see each other in the summer, we keep in touch almost everyday. Whether it's a facetime call about small-hometown drama, a dm on Instagram of a Twilight meme (we still argue over Team Jacob vs. Team Edward), or a text asking to talk about her in my blog for my communications class, online communication has helped immensely in allowing us to stay friends while living hours apart. ~ Maintenance!!

Ultimately, whether you're describing your best friend for life, or the mama's boy you dated (and thankfully dumped) your senior year of high school, Knapp's Relational Model is a great tool for understanding the stages of your interpersonal relationships, and how they built up (or broke down) to where they are currently.